


My Sweet Soft Petal

by Musical_Naoko



Series: Petals Fall [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Choose your story end, Hanahaki!Jeremy Heere, He does have it, Implied Hanahaki!Michael Mell, In here there be dragons, Jeremy centric, Jeremy don't notice shit, M/M, but you only find that out in the bad end, hanahaki, not real dragons but emotional dragons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-18 06:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11868810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musical_Naoko/pseuds/Musical_Naoko
Summary: Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.There are two ways to be cured: 1) Operation. You can have the flowers removed from your lungs, but if you remove the flowers you lose both being able to feel romantic love again, and you lose all memories of the person you were in love with. 2) Your feelings are returned, which rarely happens. It actually happens about 0.01% of the time and Jeremy isn't going to bet on such slim odds. There's a third lesser know option, just getting over them, but how could he move on?Jeremy isn't willing to lose 13 years of his life, with his best friend Michael, and he definitely isn't going to confess and ruin everything he's ever known on the off chance that Michael loves him as well.(the first chapter is not yet published)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gabrieldiedforoursins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabrieldiedforoursins/gifts).



> Gabe is my Husband. I adore them to bits! and because they helped me with editing and pushing my lazy ass to do this. so this is dedicated to them!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   * **FERN**  Maidenhair - Secret Bond of Love
>   * **LILY-OF-THE-VALLEY**  - Sweetness; You've Made My Life Complete
>   * **NARCISSUS**  - Egotism; Formality; Stay as Sweet as You Are
>   * **JONQUIL**  - Love Me; Sympathy; Desire for Affection Returned
>   * **ARBUTUS** \- Thee Only Do I Love
>   * **DAISY**  - Innocence; Loyal Love; I'll Never Tell; Purity
>   * **DANDELION**  - Faithfulness; Happiness
>   * **FORGET-ME-NOT** \- True Love; Memories
>   * **HEATHER**    Lavender - Admiration; Solitude
> 

> 
> * * *

  * **FERN**  Maidenhair - Secret Bond of Love
  * **LILY-OF-THE-VALLEY**  - Sweetness; You've Made My Life Complete
  *  

 





	2. Bad Ending: My Cruel Holly Leaves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame Gabe for this; I mentioned holly cause I liked the meaning behind it, but temporarily forgot that holly leaves are razor sharp and they went, "depending on how that fic goooooeees, if it stays unrequited, have the holly leaves be the last thing he coughs up"...
> 
> and my mind fucking RAN with it.

Jeremy Heere had been slowly declining in health for weeks, that was to be expected; he had a terrible case of Hanahaki, but symptoms  _weren’t_ Hanahaki based, it had confused him at first before he decided to just roll with it. The end of his junior year was coming up and he had been skipping more and more classes, it didn’t matter though, the medication had stopped working properly around the time of the Squip’s activation.

He knew it because the flowers had been coming more frequently and in greater variety. In a morbid way he felt like his lungs had became the most beautiful garden due to his unrequited love. But as more symptoms occurred that weren’t supposed to happen with Hanahaki he accepted his fate with a sad smile by slipping his extra suppressants to Chloe, the poor girl would need them with Brooke.

Suddenly, Jeremy coughed painfully, bending over to choke out a few… berries, were those  _holly_ berries? Weren’t Holly berries poisonous enough in large doses to be deadly to small children? He knew he wasn’t a child but he had always been extremely thin, and his sickness left him without an appetite. He coughed again and tiny red Holly berries spilled from his lips as he choked and gagged on suddenly razor-sharp leaves. He felt the leaves rip open the insides of his throat and lungs, it made him cry loudly in pain as blood spilled out of his mouth with the leaves.

It would have been hours or minutes later but he had been choking up leaves and berries so he mustn't of heard Michael’s car pull into the driveway because suddenly the boy he was in love with was there kneeling with wide terrified eyes as he looked down at Jeremy. The look of terrified concern caused him to gag and vomit up more leaves and berries and blood. The sheer amount of it was enough to Michael; his sweet, horrified Michael into a fit of loud sobs.

“How long Jeremy?!?” was all Michael could ask of the boy who had held a bouquet within him. Jeremy though that Michael deserved to know the truth, he could never truly lie to his best friend so he choked out a bloody,  _“Four years, they flowers have been blooming for four years now…”_

Then Michael was screaming for Mr. Heere as he dropped to the floor and grabbed Jeremy by the face begging him to keep his eyes open. Jeremy knew it was already too late, blood was dribbled down his chin as he gave a soft bitter laugh of a cough, it was so funny that Michael thought that the smaller boy was going to survive this. Jeremy could feel his lungs filling up with both his bouquet of flowers and the blood that was running down his throat, he picked up a few flowers from the pile that he had coughed up before the holly forced itself up his throat.

Beautiful red poppies were among the pile and Michael wondered, somewhere in the back of his mind, why they were there among all the flowers that had meanings of love. (he would find out later that they were a symbol of death, and peace. He had cried as he learned that Jeremy had been at peace with his death.)

The flowers he chose were: A white jonquil; for the meanings of “sympathy”; and “desire for affection returned”, a small sprig of Lily-of-the-Valley for “you've made my life complete”. As well as a sprig of Arbutus; due to its flowers meaning of “Only thee do I love”. Michael took them with a loud sob and Jeremy’s father sprinted into the room a phone pressed to his ear as he gave the paramedics directions, yelling at them to “Hurry up already damnit! He’s dying, my boy is  _dying_!!”.

As Jeremy slowed faded into the darkness he could have sworn he heard Michael let out a scream of anguish, he heard a choked gag, then the sound of vomiting from the taller boy. The last thing he saw was the blue of Michael’s heartbroken forget-me-not’s and the red and green of unforgiving bloody holly. In the distance, he heard the wail of sirens.

 


	3. Michael's Bad End: DNR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael visits Jeremy's grave, things don't end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Michael-centric.

Michael couldn’t help but be annoyed with the constant _‘beep, beep’_ of the heart monitor, everyone in this hospital knew that he was waiting to die, and the constant sound of his heart was slowly grinding on his last nerves. He wanted to see Jeremy; listen to the beautiful boy’s laugh as they sat in his basement playing video games, see that secret smile that had always been just for him. But Jeremy was gone, and it had been because Michael had been too afraid to tell the truth, to just come out and say _“Jeremy, I’ve been in love with you for years, please don’t reject me.”_ it had been three and a half weeks since his best friend's death, three since the funeral and Michael had be laid up in a bed for almost the entire time.

Apparently, Jeremy had been better at keeping secrets than the slightly older boy had suspected, seeing as Jeremy had been holding a bouquet in his lungs for so long. _Four years,_ Michael pondered it, _how had Jeremy managed to keep his bloomed Hanahaki a secret for four years?! _Michael had been dealing with fully bloomed flowers since his breakdown in Jake’s bathroom at that horrid Halloween party. He had passed out and woken up in his own bed with Jeremy crying silently in his sleep. _That_ had been the moment he had begun coughing up the beautiful blue Forget-Me-Not’s that reminded him of Jeremy’s eyes the boy laughed.

With the thought of Jeremy’s blue eyes in the front of his mind he slipped out of bed, unhooked himself from the monitors and got dressed in his signature red hoodie and a pair of jeans. With a practiced movement from climbing into Jeremy’s window for years, he slid out of the first story window with ease and chuckled breathlessly as he made his way to the cemetery. He wanted to see the blue flowers he had planted atop Jeremy’s grave. They matched the love of his life’s eyes.

It had offended people at the funeral when he brought forget-me-not’s to the funeral and planted right then and there after the service was completed, but when Jeremy’s estranged mother had tried to stop the crying boy, Mr. Heere had put his foot down and reprimanded the woman right there in front of everyone. _“Michael has lost everything! Let him honor the boy he loves!”_ had rung out and then there had been pitying murmurs as he retched up blue flowers and cried atop his best friends grave, attempting to plant the matching flowers by himself. His mothers stood back and watched sadly, mourning their dying child along with the boy that had been already lost.

He had been so lost in his thoughts about the funeral that he hadn’t noticed that his feet had already carried him to the cemetery, he had been coughing, leaving behind a trail of blue flowers and worried looks behind him. When he reached Jeremy’s grave he sobbed loudly, flower petals and fully bloomed, tiny flowers falling from his lips as he slide to his knees and crawled to the headstone that was supposed to be a comfort to the ones left behind, it wasn’t though. It just hurt. Jeremy had been just shy of his 18th birthday when he died.

 _We’re both so young, yet Jeremy’s dead and I’m just waiting to join him,_ was what filled Michael’s mind, and it was true, he was waiting to join Jeremy, so in the meantime he did what he could, and explained himself to his best friend’s headstone. “I'm so sorry Jeremy, I should have told you sooner, I was just so scared ya know?” Michael rubbed at his tear stained face a loud sob bringing up forget-me-not’s as he continued, “I’ve been in love with you since about 6th grade ya know? Momma caught it early, got me to the doctor and on medication that stopped the blooming.”

The tired boy turned and coughed up a mouthful of flowers into his hand, shaking them free of his damp hand before continuing to talk softly, easily ignoring the people who were staring at a dying boy who was crying over a fresh grave, “The blooming started when you pulled me out of the fire at Jake’s house Miah, you ran back in after me and hauled my unconscious ass out of the danger zone.”

Michael was full out crying now, his hands propped against Jeremy’s tombstone tracing the lettering there, before he curled up in a ball and wailed for his best friend. He was screaming for the other boy to come back, and stay with him. People watched with pity as he bent over and reached up what seemed like far too many tiny blue flowers, which were joined by Bittersweets, and Anemones.

He laughed loudly, he retched and gasped as too many flowers were coming up, as he suddenly saw a bundle of Bleeding Hearts, Hanahaki was a cruel disease, the flowers that you grew each meant something important, he _knew_ that Bleeding Hearts meant beyond life and death, while Anemones were for the brokenhearted, and Michael’s heart was well and truly broken.

A woman who had been walking nearby screamed for someone to call an ambulance as she saw the blood that had started dripping from his mouth with the latest retch more and more blood came up with every wave of flowers and thorned vines, he collapsed to the ground with a relieved sigh as his vision finally started going black.

People in the cemetery were screaming, but he was mumbling Jeremy’s name with a revenant air that the woman who had run up to help him apparently understood, “He was my everything and he’s gone,” the words came out of his throat bloody, and the woman whispered soft assurances that it’d be ok, “I don’t want it to be ok, I’ve waited 3 ½ weeks to join him. I’m _ready_ …”

Michael had lasted another minute before passed out, and another  _ two  _ after that to drown in his own blood and flowers, by the time the ambulance got there (a minute and a half after he had finished drowning) he was already gone, the boy had written, before he left the hospital, in large bold letters on both his arms “DNR” the paramedics could do nothing.

* * *

 

For the second time within two months people were gathered to bury a child. It was a bad blow to the community's moral losing two so young in such quick succession to one another. _No one mentioned that what Michael had done was kin to suicide, waiting to die and join the boy who he had loved and had loved him._ No one bothered to say anything at all to the newest dead boy’s mothers who had wailed over their child’s body when it, no _he_ had first been found. But now they were numb as they walked away, dirt on their hands as their son’s grave was covered in the red poppies that Jeremy had once coughed up.

As everyone walked away, Michael’s Momma looked back at the two graves and smiled sadly, Michael’s bold and fluid handwriting proudly proclaimed him to the world “Player 1” underneath his name, D.O.B. and D.O.D. Jeremy’s had his crawling handwriting carved into it, timidly demanding the title that had been proudly his in life “Player 2”. For a moment, the grieving woman blinked rapidly, she could have imagined that the two boys were sitting happily atop their matching tombstones, kissing shyly as they were finally together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DNR means "Do Not Resuscitate". Its a fancy medical term for "Let me die."


End file.
